RATMOFANF: Chapter 1

Chapter 1: She Wants a Divorce

Lately, from the highest officials and nobles to the lowest street vendors in Chang'an, everyone had been enthusiastically discussing one thrilling piece of news during their spare time.

The Xiongnu had invaded the borders, but Li Ling, the heir of the Zhenguo Duke Manor, had proven invincible, repelling the barbarians and was now returning triumphantly to the court.

Today, the Duke Manor was filled with joy and excitement. The entire household was eagerly awaiting the return of the Heir who had brought them such immense glory.

A husband's honor should be his wife's honor. But Lady Shen, Li Ling's delicate wife, had been holed up in her room for months, feeling exceptionally heartbroken and stifled.

The maid, Danzhu, entered from outside and saw her mistress silently weeping by the window again. She stepped forward quietly, offered a handkerchief, and persuaded, "Young Lady, you've just finished your month of confinement after the miscarriage. Crying like this will hurt your eyes."

Shen Jingxiu dried her tears and asked, "Has the Heir arrived yet?"

Danzhu nodded: "The main army is encamped outside the city, but the Young Master returned first with a team of personal guards. He's currently at the Old Madam's place."

(read @cherrybombbertranslations.blogspot)

Li Ling valued rules above all. She hadn't really expected him to break protocol to visit her so soon after her miscarriage. "Help me get ready. We'll go over now."

He might not come to see her, but as a virtuous wife, she couldn't not go to welcome her husband.

When Jingxiu arrived at the Old Madam's Anxi Hall, Li Ling was indeed there, chatting with his grandmother and his father, the Duke.

It had been six months since she'd last seen him. His resolute face was a bit darker and thinner, but he seemed more mature and steady, exuding the unique masculine aura of a military man.

Having won a great victory, he also appeared high-spirited and refreshed.

Seeing her granddaughter-in-law enter, the Old Madam called out, "Shu'er, your health is weak. Come, sit down."

It hadn't been long since her miscarriage, so she was naturally frail. Just walking that short distance had left her somewhat short of breath. After paying her respects, Jingxiu took a seat below the Old Madam.

When Li Ling saw his wife enter, he only gave her a faint glance before resuming his conversation with his father about the war.

Naturally, Jingxiu wouldn't interrupt in such a situation. She simply sat quietly to the side, waiting.

The Duke had been the top warrior of the Great Qi in his youth. Although he had now retired due to illness, listening to his son talk about the war still filled him with passion and longing.

As father and son were deeply engrossed in their conversation, the Old Madam interrupted, "You two have plenty of time to discuss these matters later. It's getting late. Let Ling'er go back with his wife and rest."

Only after his mother's reminder did the Duke realize the time. He said to his son, "You should go back now. We can talk more later."

Li Ling replied, "I was concerned about the family, so I came back first to take a look. Now, I must hurry to the palace for an audience with His Majesty."

The country comes before the family! The Duke urged his son, "Then go quickly. Don't delay at home."

Li Ling stood up, bowed to his grandmother and father, and took his leave.

Old Madam Li looked at her grandson, then at her granddaughter-in-law, and said to Li Ling, "Let Shu'er see you to the gate."

"No need." Li Ling finally looked at his wife, his face still cold and expressionless. "You go back first. I'll return after my audience with the Emperor."

With that, he strode out of Anxi Hall, his tall, athletic figure disappearing from sight in moments.

In that brief meeting, he hadn't mentioned a single word about her miscarriage.

(read @cherrybombbertranslations.blogspot)

Even after being apart for over half a year, he still felt no concern for her. Though upset by his coldness, Jingxiu would never show it in front of her elders. She chatted a while longer with the Old Madam before returning to her own Breeze-Filled Courtyard.

Jingxiu had been married to Li Ling for five years. Everyone envied her for marrying such a towering, outstanding man. But behind closed doors, only she understood the true taste of their life together.

Li Ling was dull-natured and cold. Since their marriage, aside from their intimate relations, he had never shown her any warmth.

It wasn't entirely his fault. Back then, she had accidentally fallen into the water and was rescued by Li Ling, consequently losing her maidenly virtue. Li Ling had married her out of a sense of responsibility.

Although she was also the legitimate daughter of an official's family, compared to the illustrious Zhenguo Duke Manor, it was a genuine case of her family reaching above their station. So, ever since the marriage, there had been faint rumors outside that she had been lacking in self-respect, deliberately falling into the water to destroy her reputation, all part of a calculated scheme to entrap Li Ling.

Because of this, she couldn't hold her head high among the noble ladies' circle, and she felt even more guilt towards the upright Li Ling. So, ever since marrying him, she had been overly cautious around him, currying favor with him, trying to please him, watching his expression before acting, lowering herself into the dust.

She had hoped that with time, she would slowly warm his heart.

It wasn't until six months ago, when he requested to lead the expedition, that she finally understood. That heart of his, she would never be able to warm.

Because his heart simply wasn't with her.

A year ago, the Xiongnu invaded. The Emperor had ordered General Zhou Yi to lead 500,000 troops to meet them, but unexpectedly, the army suffered repeated setbacks in battle. Even the ever-victorious general was defeated, causing panic within the court. No one else dared to volunteer to lead the campaign. Worried about damaging the nation's foundations, the Emperor agreed to a political marriage with the Xiongnu to secure peace.

The chosen bride happened to be the Ninth Princess, Qingluan.

And Li Ling had volunteered precisely for her sake.

Princess Qingluan's deceased birth mother, Consort Shu, was Li Ling's paternal aunt. He had always been protective of this younger cousin, the Princess. Jingxiu had naturally heard the rumors about them: if not for that incident back then, Li Ling would have married the Ninth Princess.

She had only half-believed it before, thinking that with Li Ling's cold nature, he wouldn't harbor such romantic sentiments in his heart. Even if he had indeed intended to marry the Princess back then, since he had married her, given his sense of responsibility, those matters should have been in the past.

After all, although he was usually cold, he was always passionate with her in bed. If she held no place in his heart, how could that be?

Jingxiu had deluded herself, taking this as evidence that she did occupy a space in his heart.

But this time, seeing him risk his very life for Qingluan, she finally understood. In her husband's heart, the page concerning Qingluan hadn't just failed to turn; it was deeply rooted, unshakable, and irreplaceable.

Her own sincere devotion had been met with his desperate charge for another. How could Jingxiu not be heartbroken?

Choked with resentment, just over a month ago, she had miscarried the child she had been carrying for five months.

This was a child she had longed for for years, just gone! Heartbroken, she had written to Li Ling about it in a letter home. He had sent not a single word in response.

The moon hung over the willow tips, the night still and lonely. Jingxiu gazed at the flickering candle flame, scene after scene from the past flashing before her eyes.

She sniffled, trying hard not to let the tears fall.

It was so late, and he still hadn't returned.

Presumably, after his audience with the Emperor, other matters detained him.

She had heard that the Ninth Princess was deeply moved by this cousin who had "flared up in wrath" for her. It was even said that, not minding his married status, she had recently requested the Emperor's permission to condescend to marry Li Ling as a parallel wife (a wife of equal status to the first wife).

Rushing to the palace immediately upon his return, he was probably eager to see Qingluan.

That Li Ling, so cold to her, must be gentle towards the delicate Ninth Princess, right? What would he say to her? Would he really agree to take her as a parallel wife?

Jingxiu's mind was filled with images of Li Ling and Qingluan together.

The more she thought, the angrier she became.

Since she held no place in his heart, why was she foolishly waiting for him?

Jingxiu pulled up the covers, intending to just sleep, but she tossed and turned, unable to find rest.

It was the third watch (around 11 pm-1 am), and he still wasn't back!

Fuming, Jingxiu threw off the covers, got out of bed, sat at the table, picked up a brush, and in one go, wrote a letter of divorce.

She didn't want to stay married to a husband whose heart didn't have her in it at all!

She wanted a divorce!

Looking at the finished divorce agreement, Jingxiu imagined resolutely thrusting it at him. Li Ling would surely be shocked, and the thought gave her some satisfaction.

She let out a long, heavy sigh, finally feeling a bit better in her heart. She lay back down on the bed and gradually fell asleep.

In her hazy state, a pair of warm hands wrapped around her waist. Then, her whole body was pulled over.

(read @cherrybombbertranslations.blogspot)

It was Li Ling.

The resentment in Jingxiu's heart instantly flared up again. She slapped hard at the hands holding her.

His little wife had always been gentle and obedient, always yielding to his wishes. Even in bed, he could do as he pleased; she never defied him.

Seeing her like this so suddenly, Li Ling thought she was still muddled with sleep. He leaned close and said in a low voice, "It's me."

"Why are you only back now?"

The moment she asked, Jingxiu regretted it. It sounded as if she cared. And seeing that Li Ling clearly had no intention of explaining himself to her made her even angrier.

Jingxiu struggled free from Li Ling's grasp, sat up, straightened her sleeping robe, and said with a stern face, "Let's get a divorce."

"Why?" he asked without hesitation.

He still had the nerve to ask why? Jingxiu turned her face away, not answering.

Just because he came back late? She had always been reasonable, not an unreasonable person.

Then it must be a bad mood because of the miscarriage.

It was their first child. He could understand her taking out her grief from the miscarriage on him.

Li Ling pulled her into his arms. His wife's originally slender frame was even thinner now; he could even feel the bones around her waist. In a hoarse voice, he whispered by her ear, "We can have another child."

Enveloped by his familiar, intense presence, Jingxiu's heart suddenly ached.

He simply didn't understand what was truly bothering her!

Losing the child naturally pained her,but that wasn't the only source of her deepest sorrow.

Jingxiu said softly, "You've always had Qingluan in your heart, haven't you?"

She had finally spoken the words she had held inside for so long.

She felt Li Ling's arms stiffen around her.

In the darkness, she couldn't see his expression. After a long time, she heard him reply, "How can you say such a thing?"

The two of them sat in silence for a while. Li Ling spoke again, "If you're not feeling well, you should get some sleep early." With that, he turned over, lying with his back to her.

Truth be told, Jingxiu wasn't absolutely determined to divorce. Not only would it harm her reputation, but it would also implicate her natal family. She still had two unmarried younger sisters whose marriage prospects would inevitably be affected.

She didn't entirely believe the matter of the "parallel wife" either. Li Ling was someone who valued rules and propriety above all. It might be true that he held Qingluan in his heart, but Jingxiu believed that given Li Ling's character, since he had married her, he wouldn't dismiss her without cause, nor would he breach propriety by taking a parallel wife.

A large part of her saying this was out of spite. If only Li Ling showed the slightest consideration for her, explained himself, said a few kind words, she might still hold onto a sliver of hope for him.

But he said nothing!

Was it an admission?

Looking at Li Ling, who had buried himself in sleep, Jingxiu felt like a fish thrown onto the sand, struggling desperately, yet still about to be mercilessly buried by the indifferent grains.

She felt so stifled she could barely breathe.

Tears of grievance streamed from the corners of her eyes.

His indifference had thoroughly extinguished the last flicker of hope she held for him. She sniffled and said, choking up, "I've already drafted the divorce agreement. You can sign it tomorrow morning."

Li Ling sat up again, kneeling beside his wife and looking at her. He asked in surprise, "What's really wrong with you?" As he spoke, he reached out to feel her forehead.

Jingxiu turned her head away, avoiding his hand.

Even in the dim light of the night, Li Ling could feel his wife's gaze shooting towards him like knives, sharp and filled with deep resentment.

The two of them remained locked in a stalemate for a long time before Li Ling finally spoke. "A miscarriage harms the body. Tomorrow, I will summon an imperial physician from the palace to properly regulate your health."

Having said that, he got out of bed, gathered his own bedding, and said, "You rest properly. I'll sleep in the study."

He really left. For the rest of the night, he did not return.

(End of Chapter)

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